After twenty years, I ended it. The relationship had been one-sided for some time and she’d be the first to admit that.
It’s a hard thing to do, letting a literary agent go. In the back of my mind, I felt that even an agent who wasn’t submitting my work to anyone - despite praising it whenever I chased and promising to send my latest novel out at the earliest opportunity - was better than no agent at all. That idea, now I read it written down, was insane.
Ultimately, she helped me shape so many works over the years and taught me much, so I don’t want to sound ungrateful. And I’m not. However, after enduring eighteen months of holding notes, I was beginning to feel gaslit. The huge relief I feel to be single again tells me I made the right decision.
So, if I’m quiet for a while it’s because I’m currently engaged in the tortuous process of finding a new champion for my books. I have two novels in a series ready - novels I’m deeply proud of and have worked bloody hard on - and believe them to be a genuine commercial opportunity for someone willing to make the effort. Truth be told, I’m excited again for my writing’s future.
Onwards.
EDIT: In the cold light of morning, it occurs to me that I missed an opportunity last night in writing this. Twenty years is a long time - longer than we own dogs for, as an example - and, in the early days, my agent would send me long emails detailing specific editorial recommendations. She was more than an agent; she was a mentor. Of late, ill health and age befell her and the pandemic robbed her of tried and trusted contacts within a fast-changing publishing world. Reading my brief post from last night (which now seems more like a press statement than blog article), I'd like to make it clear that I'm not attempting, nor would I ever attempt, a character assassination. I write raw sometimes. When a relationship between an artist and agent stops being one of mutual appreciation, it's time to move on. I'm focused on my writing career, and she wasn't any longer. It's as simple as that. I removed my former agent's full name from the 'about' section of this website before I posted last night, to spare any embarrassment, but I'd like to thank her publicly nevertheless for everything she did for me. So, thank you, Louise.
Something else I should have offered in my original post was advice for writers going through the same process. At this point, all I would say is that if there are unfulfilled promises or if your ambitions are mismatched, chances are it's time to move on. Effective communication is essential. And, if there is a lack of significant results after an extended period of time then, again, ask yourself what your goals are. If your agent shares them, all's good. If not, walk.
The past is a foreign country and I'm not going to dwell. What I will do, is keep you updated on my journey.
So, once again, thank you.
Comments